Posts Tagged ‘ poetry ’

Bare bones

Bare bones

Above is a link to the latest in my collection of blogs… (not including separationdrip here, I currently try to manage about three, though fortunately they’re not entirely serious endeavours, though posting updates to keep others in the loop is sometimes surprisingly draining).

I’ve never really posted my poetry before (save an early draft here on separationdrip a few months ago), but I figured I’d risk it! I’m only putting the bare bones up for now, the skeletal first drafts. Maybe I’ll flesh them out later when uni isn’t driving me to insomnia, or add some of my poetry portfolio drafts (usually in their fourth or fifth rewrite) once the assignment deadline is gone – because who wants to get in trouble for self-plagiarising?

But yes, there in the link lies the foundation blocks for some of my recent poetic adventures…

EDIT: WordPress didn’t put the link in correctly, so here it is -> click



A long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time ago, I updated this blog. In a galaxy far away the same as your own, actually.

Anyhoo, I’m just popping in to ask for a favour from anyone still following this dusty little corner of the internet.

I’ve written a poem. Well, the bare bones of a poem. The skeletal frame. I’m not happy with it (it’s a first draft, of course I’m not going to be happy), and I feel like it’s too sappy and blah, so I was hoping you guys could possibly offer me some feedback on it. What don’t you like? Is there anything that should stay, or should I scrap it and start again? Now when I say bare bones, I mean I’ve written it, essentially, as prose. I haven’t properly considered how the lines are going to work, where there will be caesuras, enjambent, end stops, etc, whether there’ll be gaps. I want to try and fix what I have so far before I start working on that in detail.

Little bit of background information; it’s a class task. We’re to write about a place, researching it’s history so we have something to draw on. The technique I’m using is essentially different levels of what is visible. So from a certain height to a certain depth, the history in those levels, etc. Anyway, I’ll put the draft up here and hopefully someone might get back to me (I’ll send you an internet-cookie or something to show my gratitude).

Tentatively titled:  The Heavenly Prince and the Bear

You all but fell into my lap, God-sent on a day where clouds spiralled the city and knotted around my neck like a ribbon choker.

We climbed Namsan, lucky 777 high, crested its clear-skied peak to find our own space amongst millions of other stars, padlocking I’ll love you forever to the fence (but wasn’t love supposed to set us free?) and then tossing the key into a bin on the way down to the subway , the subway that would take us to Itaewon, to soak up culture like heart-shaped sponges, the subway that would take us to Jongno, to lose ourselves in the history of your ancestors, the subway that would take us to Gangnam, where I would spend my last 10,000 won bill on a cup of coffee and a one-shot espresso that would keep you up until 4am, tickling my ribs and dancing Gee until the apartment downstairs hammered on the ceiling.

Back onto the subway the morning after, always, another day another border, forever crossing the districts hand in hand. We were heart and soul, one and the same.

History repeated itself, our Seoul was sundered, fragmenting into Goguryeo, Baekje, and Silla.

History repeated itself, the unification looped us until we coagulated again, until we were one and the same, heart and soul.

And history repeated itself, until the skies took my Heavenly Prince back, your work here on earth among the peons done. I thought I would remain human when you left me behind, but I reverted. Back into that shambling walking-dead, hibernating my way through parts of the year and blustering with the world on a sore head the rest of the time. No heart, no soul.

If you check out this blog post, it might clear a few things up… About halfway down things might make more sense.